Feuding with Fundies

Today's post was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend on Facebook this morning as I was eating breakfast. My friend, who lives in India, recently entered into an online relationship with a woman here in the US.  After congratulating him on the happy news, I asked my friend a few questions about his new girlfriend to get an idea of what she was like. He explained to me that while she lives at home with her parents and is a freelance DJ on the weekends, there's a feud going on between her and her parents because her parents are fundamentalist Christians while she is an atheist.

When one thinks of the word "fundamentalist", at least here in America, two specific images come to mind: one of a howling preacher standing in front of a congregation, waving around a Bible and admonishing his congregants to be "saved" or burn in hell; and the other of Moslem terrorists posing for pictures while brandishing a Koran in one hand and weapons in the other.

Dubs and Osama-two sides of the same coin

To understand these seemingly contradictory images, one must first know what "fundamentalism" means. Linguistically, the term "fundamentalist" is based on the root word "fundament", which means "foundation". In each of these two images, the preacher and the terrorist, the individuals believe that what they are doing is the correct way to practice their religions because their respective sacred scriptures say certain things which are to be followed, word for word.

This is where the trouble starts. Because fundamentalists believe that THEIR way is the "right" way, it causes all sorts of problems in society at large.

If you look beyond the linguistic definition of "fundament", you'll also see it refers to an anus; more crudely, the ass hole.

Pastor Robert Tilton, also known as "The Farting Preacher", appropriately enough

Ultimately, the fundamentalist is an asshole.

By its very nature, fundamentalism of any stripe (from the religious to the secular) puts ignorance up on a pedestal and says "this is what you must aspire to be. Anything outside our sacred texts is sinful!" It's one thing to be able to cite the preferred religious/secular texts backwards, forwards, up and down; but it doesn't mean shit if it renders you incapable of functioning within society at large.

That is ultimately the big beef I have with fundamentalism. Because of the ignorance that results from being exposed to such an insular world, the thumper essentially spits in God's face by telling Him "Your creation is not good enough for me! Therefore, it's not worth learning about!" Religious fundamentalists deny themselves knowledge of sciences, history, philosophy, and even knowledge of other sects of their own faith, much less other faiths. Secular fundamentalists deny themselves knowledge of religious traditions and practices, as well as humanities; the "why" aspects of life.

Do yourself a favor. Don't be a thumper. Don't be an asshole

Schadenfreude and Scandal

Since my return to blogging last month, I've made it a point not to immediately comment on a major news story until later on when all the initial rabbling is passed and the frothing at the mouth has been reduced to a drool.

And the raging carpet chewing has subsided as well

But, I can't help but tune into my inner schadenfreude at the Ashley Madison hack that's been going on. How ironic is it that a website meant for cheaters to anonymously hook up got busted and now has their shit out all over the internet for everyone to see!

I figured that government officials would have profiles on Ashley Madison cuz, well, they're government officials! What else completes them like having a piece of ass on the side? But I was just rolling over with laughter when I heard the infamous Josh Duggar had some profiles on the sight too.

To understand why I was so amused to see that a purported "family values" and "pro-traditional marriage" man like Josh Duggar had an account on Ashley Madison, it's because I have very little tolerance for sanctimonious, bah-bul thumping assholes like his sort. Those kinds of people might well have "hypocrite" tattooed on their forehead. And when their hypocrisy is exposed, I just grab my beer and popcorn and watch the fall from grace commence.

You gonna share that popcorn, Mikey?

There are two big lessons to be gained from watching the Ashley Madison scandal:

1. Do not cheat on your spouse (goes without saying, but it's amazing how many people don't get this)
2. If you're gonna cheat, don't be dumb enough to PAY for a profile on a cheating website. You WILL get caught, one way or another. 

Even the most diligently-covered adulterer can never completely hide their tracks; someone sees a credit card statement or gets a notice bounced to the wrong email, a website hack happens, the adulterer slips up and tells the spouse outright, or the spouse finds out the truth on their own. And if you've been spending your hard-earned money on this shit instead of putting it towards covering the needs of your family, well, you deserve whatever bad shit's coming. The infidelity is bad enough, but putting your family finances at stake to support that vice is inexcusable.

Before he was called to take over teaching a class at the Mt. Angel Benedictine Abbey in Oregon, my favorite priest from the other church my husband and I split time at warned us about schadenfreude. The Catholic Church teaches that to take pleasure in another's misfortune is a form of pride, one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

I know I shouldn't laugh at Josh Duggar's fall from grace. But when you know something about how bah-bul thumpers operate and the mindset they carry, when one of them slips and causes a scandal, one can't help but feel vindicated. We saw that trainwreck coming a mile before it happened.