The Ghetto Guide to Cloth Diapers, Part II

Welcome back, readers!

Yesterday, in my first post for the series The Ghetto Guide to Cloth Diapers, I described the different types of cloth diapers that exist, as well as a few pros/cons related to using them. Today, I address the question of where to find cloth diapers.

For the low income mother who has decided to use cloth diapers, options on where to find the cloth diapers are varied.

I highly recommend taking advantage of the internet when looking for cloth diapers. With sites like Craigslist and other classified ads sites, you can browse your local area and see about acquiring cloth diapers secondhand or like-new for cheap. If you have a little money, there are sites that sell cloth diapers where you can purchase them brand new (though they tend to be a bit more expensive than Craigslist).

And it's totally fine if your computer area looks like this. Nobody's judging

If the internet is not available in your home and there is nowhere else you can go to use it, ask about and see if there is a store in your area that sells cloth diapers. Babies-R-Us is a good starting point. Walmart sells cloth diapers as well, though not all stores carry them. Check ahead before making a trip there. Some children's boutiques carry cloth diapers too. Call and ask if there are any in stock and what the price range is before you go. Since cloth diapers generally aren't on the baby horizon nowadays, some proprietors may be willing to negotiate prices with you to clear out existing inventories.

Don't be afraid to ask friends, family, or members of your community if anyone has cloth diapers they are willing to give you or sell to you for a small price. If they themselves have nothing, they may know somebody who does. After telling friends at church about our quest for cloth diapers, one of them hooked me up with another family she knew whose children had outgrown their cloth diapers and they were looking to be rid of those diapers. We happily took up their donation. The bulk of our cloth diapers came from that wonderful family. Asking around should be your first step, as it's usually the quickest way to get lots of cloth diapers in a short amount of time without having to spend any of your money.

You can never have enough cloth diapers. You'll never know when you'll need them

Baby showers are a great way to acquire cloth diapers. Depending on where you register, you might be able to add them to your registry. Or, if you're like me and didn't bother with a registry, let your hosts/guests know of your wishlist before the shower date. My daughter's godmother bought me several packs of flat cloth diapers, as well as pins and plastic pants for my baby shower. Another family friend gave us gift cards that we used to buy cloth diapers at Babies-R-Us. Another friend bought me flat cloth diapers and covers from a local children's boutique. If nothing else, request gift cards for your shower. They're probably the most versatile gift you can get.

Diaper cakes, like this one, are a cute way to gift cloth diapers at a shower

Alot of baby items can be acquired for cheap at flea markets, swap meets, and yard sales. Check out what's in your area and stop by to see if anyone is selling cloth diapers.

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, the upfront cost of cloth diapers are greater than disposable diapers, and many impoverished individuals, myself included, find that upfront cost intimidating. On this topic, my best advice would be to start buying early on in your pregnancy if there is no other way you can get cloth diapers cheaply from others. Optimally, this is the last resort when it comes to acquiring cloth diapers, as donations or gifts help minimize what you need to spend out of pocket. You don't have to buy the whole supply at once. Buy a little here, a little there when you can. When baby is born, they go through an average of about 10-12 diapers a day. Plan accordingly.

Remember, there is no shame in getting secondhand items if that's all you can afford. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. And if they do, well, that's what the middle finger is for!

Stay tuned for tomorrow's final posting in this series. Tomorrow, I cover laundering as well as storing the diapers.

The Ghetto Guide to Cloth Diapers, Part I

Before Darija was born, my husband and I debated about whether to use cloth diapers or disposable ones. While disposable ones are readily available and have the perks of convenience (not to mention keeping pee off of baby's bottom better), the costs of buying packs and boxes of diapers every other week adds up pretty quickly. Cloth diapers, while notable for their eco-friendliness and long-term austerity due to being reusable, have a higher up-front cost and are guaranteed to result in higher water/utility bills due to the frequent laundering required of them.

So, what to do?

While we landed on a compromise of using disposables while out and about and cloth diapers at home, living in poverty has a way of educating you to take advantage of whatever life hacks you can find to stretch your limited resources further. I've found that the use of cloth diapers has been an essential part of keeping our baby care expenses lower than the average.

Like alot of millenials, especially ones with a conservative background like myself, I initially scoffed at the idea of cloth diapers. In my mind, cloth diapers had a stigma in that it was only for hippies, granola yuppies, and rich/middle class suburban stay at home mothers, while "real", hardworking, and/or impoverished people like me used disposables. But, after doing some research, I found it actually WAS more beneficial in the long run to use cloth diapers, environmentally and financially. Some of my mommy friends who'd used cloth diapers at church also encouraged me to use them as well. That, plus help from my husband who'd had experience in both childcare and cloth diapers, convinced me it actually WAS possible for a low-income mother like myself to keep my child adequately diapered and not go broke in the process!

But then came three big questions-what kinds of cloth diapers to acquire? Where do I find them? And can I afford to launder them without breaking the bank?

With those questions in mind, I've come up with a practical guide to cloth diapers for the low-income individual. Each of the three questions above will be addressed in a separate entry for this short series I'm calling The Ghetto Guide to Cloth Diapers. Cloth diapers shouldn't be something associated with the affluent segment of the population. They're for everyone regardless of income levels, and I can help you decide if this is a truly practical option for your wallet and your baby.

Let us begin.

Barbeque Queen

Before I got married, I was not much in the way of a cook.

In fact, I'm still not much in the way of a cook.

When it comes to making food, my wonderful and amazing husband does the cooking. And he likes doing it. In his family, it was a tradition that the men learn how to cook. And it was a good thing, since I would have missed out on lots of good down-home Cajun cooking that his family made.

But, there is one wifely cooking task I'm proud to own.

Barbeque.

I didn't think I could cook anything outside of a microwave and boxed food, until my husband taught me how to barbeque. It all started when I had a craving for carne asada. Living here in southern Arizona, carne asada is a popular weekend dish. Many a Sunday, I can smell my neighbors cooking carne asada. So naturally, I wanted to make some.

Since I don't have a family recipe for carne asada, nor do I speak enough Spanish for one of my neighbors to teach me how to make it, I consulted the great oracle known as Google for some recipes on how to make it. Then, when our food stamps came in, we got some chuck steaks on sale and I made the marinate. I chose a citrusy sort of marinate, since we had all the ingredients on hand.

After an overnight soak in the marinate, my husband fired up the grill and I plopped the marinated steaks along with some green onions and peppers. The result was delicious.

Tools of the trade

Smoky, meaty goodness

I felt good about it afterwards since I was the one who created this treat from beginning to end, and that despite my huge lack of experience, I could barbeque something and NOT have it come out vulcanized! A huge confidence boost for someone like me who grew up with shoe-leather tough barbeque!

The next barbeque endeavor I undertook was pork chops, using a marinate similar to one my late father-in-law used for his homemade barbeque sauce. I don't have pictures of that one, but it was also delicious.

Finally on 4th of July, the biggest grilling day of the year, I barbequed chicken and americanized cevapcici (Serbian sausages made traditionally with ground beef, lamb, and pork with spices. Instead of lamb and pork, I'd made the cevapcici with ground beef and Jimmy Dean-knockoff sausage cuz it was there and needed eating)

Those pink finger-looking thingies are the cevapcici

One thing I've discovered when cooking chicken quarters whole-the joint where the thigh meets the drumstick does not cook all the way, even if the rest of the chicken does. Not wanting to vulcanize the rest of the quarter to ensure that part cooks through, next time I feel like barbequing chicken, I'll separate the thigh from the drumstick for more even cooking. Hope my husband remembers where he put the skillsaw...

In due course, I will be sharing my favorite marinates, as well as tips on barbequing in general.

Bon appetite!

Exile

You've built your life up

It seems so secure

But then the unexpected appears

And you crash down unsure

The ones you called friends and allies

Turn their backs in your darkest hour

They will even betray you

Drunk with newfound power

Now you must flee

Your life depends on it

Where you are going, God knows

But this current place is unfit

Finally, God guides you to a new place

You can settle and begin to rebuild

But, oh how the hate burns inside you

For the betrayers who wanted you killed

The world says karma will get them

Jesus says turn the other cheek

While the betrayers bask in their malevolent bliss

And your own faith feels so weak

But then something miraculous happens

Your utmost dependence on God brings fruit

His protection and guidance sustain you

And doubt begins to uproot

And when you encounter reminders

Of the life you'd left behind

It hurts to know you can never return

But you are also no longer blind

There are others out there like you

Pushed away or thrown out like the trash

You are an exile

And like the phoenix, you will rise again from the ash

tamtam

Daily Daily Sing to Mary

This beautiful Catholic hymn I discovered while reading up on the structure of poetry, is attributed to St. Bernard of Cluny. After listening to the hymn being sung, I realized I'd heard it many times before, but only in Spanish. I was not aware that an English version even existed. The Holy Spirit has ways of guiding one to fortuitous places.

Daily, daily sing to Mary, 
Sing, my soul, her praises due. 
All her feasts, her actions worship 
With the heart's devotion true. 
Lost in wond'ring contemplation, 
Be her Majesty confess'd. 
Call her Mother, call her Virgin, 
Happy Mother, Virgin blest. 

She is mighty to deliver. 
Call her, trust her lovingly. 
When the tempest rages round thee, 
She will calm the troubled sea. 
Gifts of heaven she has given, 
Noble Lady, to our race. 
She, the Queen, who decks her subjects 
With the light of God's own grace. 

Sing, my tongue, the Virgin's trophies 
Who for us her Maker bore. 
For the curse of old inflicted, 
Peace and blessing to restore. 
Sing in songs of peace unending, 
Sing the world's majestic Queen. 
Weary not nor faint in telling. 
All the gifts she gives to men.

tamtam

On the Right

Having just returned to the world of blogging, I've had an opportunity to look at my past posts and see how I used to be. There is a most definite right-wing bent to my past posts.

My impression: What in the HELL was I thinking?!

The answer: I wasn't.

I grew up in a rabidly right-wing home, with family who treated Rush Limbaugh's words as Gospel and who never failed to malign anyone who was not conservative or who supported causes that were anything other than conservative ones. And even certain conservative causes, like the pro-life movement, were viewed with suspicion. Naturally, I fell right in step with such devotion. What reason did I have to think different?

Then while on hiatus from blogging, I did what most people never achieve in their lifetimes. I grew up.

And, in the process, I discovered how full of shit right wing America is. Xenophobia is one thing, disenfranchisement, military worship/warhawkism, and straight-up ignorance encouraged by festering Bible-thumping and apocalypse fantasies are other notable traits. But as if that wasn't enough, then came the insane claim that lowering taxes on the wealthy will magically produce jobs. I believed that lie until I began my working life a few months after I'd done the good deed and graduated from college with a degree. Despite having a degree, the only work I could find was a slave-level job in a call center, doing customer service for a major wireless provider.

A good Republican would say, "well, it's better than nothing! You need to work hard and find a better job or better yet, take a second job! Or, better yet, go back to school and get a degree that will earn you money!"

A person with a brain in their head says that there is something very wrong with this picture.

There is nothing like working in a dead-end industry like customer service to see just how bad capitalism, the rabid right with their insane cult-like devotion to Ayn Rand, Israel, and the super wealthy; and the castrated moderate right that calls itself left wing, have failed us. The best and brightest are maligned, while the mediocre and the conformist are held up as ideal; all the while singing in three-part harmony about how wonderful supply-side economics is and you better fucking support the troops!

The result has been a severe uptick in income inequality, more people turning to welfare and food stamps in order to survive, a spike in the cost of living, and two entire generations (mine and the one prior to mine) of working-age people who will never know what it was like to have job security and the income to sustain a middle-class existence.

But of course, nobody in the the government, both the rabidly right wing and the moderately right wing that characterize the Democrat party, will do a damn thing different. Their patrons stand to lose alot of money and influence if any of that should happen.

But now what about those poor people? You know, the ones who need food stamps and Section 8, and Medicaid? Fuck those leeches! CUT CUT CUT! If people die of starvation, who gives a shit-this is AMERICA where you don't need a handout from the government! You pull yourself up by the bootstraps and do it yourself!

By the way, unless you have a means of supporting yourself, it's a wee bit hard to pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Try it sometime.

The funny thing is, you look around Eastern Europe and Latin America, and you can clearly see where the politicians are bought and sold, where there's a tin-pot dictator calling the shots, where crony capitalists hijack the economy, where income inequality is extreme as all getout, where you're constantly under surveillance and the police act with impunity, and think "what a shithole that place is".

It's never occurred to you that we're right on par with those very shitholes you were observing. Perhaps even worse so because our media has done so well hiding what a plutocratic police state America has become.

I can see it right now. Someone from the right will read this post and go "this lazy, brainwashed liberal here is  bitter cuz she doesn't wanna work hard and would rather be a Communist!"

LOL. Communism is just the flip side of your beloved capitalism. One uses material goods for social control, the other reduces humanity to just a commodity to be bought and sold as needed. They both make material goods into god, treat economic activity as a mystical force, and assert itself as a religion (albeit a "secular" one).

I can also see said right winger go "if this communist here doesn't like Amurrika, she should leave".

A thought, I will concede, but a full-on revolt would be alot cheaper and involve less paperwork than moving internationally. Poverty has a way of keeping one tethered.

That, my friends, is why I shredded my Republican registration card and said to hell with you people. Now that I am free of the clutches of the right wing's idiot machine, I will not hesitate to speak out against the right for what they are-the REAL enemies of the state.

tamtam

The Return of Tamtam

Ladies and gentlemen,

After a nearly three-year hiatus, filled with much change, growth, and challenge, I have returned to the world of blogging at long last.

To commemorate my return, I will post this poem that a friend of mine sent to me a few years ago. I believe it's called The Logical Conclusion, but I've also seen it listed as The Ass Shall Sigh Uninstructed.

When earth's last thesis is copied 

From the theses that went before, 

When idea from fact has departed 

And bare-boned factlets shall bore,

When all joy shall have fled from study 

And scholarship reign supreme; 

When truth shall "baaa" on the hill crests 

And no one shall dare to dream; 

When all the good poems have been buried 

With comment annoted in full 

And art shall bow down in homage 

To scholarship's zinc-plated bull, 

When there shall be nothing to research 

But the notes of annoted notes, 

And Baalam's ass shall inquire 

The price of imported oats; 

Then no one shall tell him the answer 

For each shall know the one fact 

That lies in the special ass-ignment 

From which he is making his tract. 

So the ass shall sigh uninstructed 

While each in his separate book 

Shall grind for the love of grinding 

And only the devil shall look. 

Against the "germanic" system of graduate study and insane specialization in the Inanities. 

-Ezra Pound